Growing Together: A Journey of Masculinity and Connection
Written by Brandon Melnyk, Champions of Healthy Manhood
I heard “presence over perfection” from a high schooler in 2018, and have since carried this mantra with me because there is a mindset created. I also firmly believe everything happens for a reason. Oftentimes, I don’t recognize the significance of circumstances until after the fact. One of these situations was when I attended my first meeting, in 2016, with a group of guys from around West Michigan. We didn’t have much initially, but we had a shared purpose, although we didn’t know this yet. This group is now known as the Champions of Healthy Manhood (CHM or Champions), and we continue finding our direction. Simultaneously, I’ve found my purpose. In my life’s journey, joining these guys and identifying my purpose are inextricably connected.
Through the roller-coaster of identity formation, I’ve learned from mistakes, grown from my experiences, and had numerous positive impacts on diverse groups of people. Similarly, Champions continues evolving, as we’re in our pre-adolescent phase. What’s remained constant is what we demonstrate: empathy, community, respect, allyship, courage, and vulnerability. We work to reshape masculinity, first within ourselves, and then outwardly within local faith communities, schools, businesses, and anyone interested. We do this necessary boots-on-the-ground work by showing up to raise awareness and spread education surrounding the impacts gender-based violence has, while recognizing the role which male-identified humans have in perpetuating harmful ideologies, largely against vulnerable populations such as women, children, 2SLGBTQ+ communities, and those with multiple marginalized identities. When we connect, we strive to lead by example, providing patience and grace for ourselves, as well as our audience.
Since 2016, I’ve formed meaningful relationships with these guys, which is generally difficult for my neurodivergent self; CHM has always loved me exactly as I am, imperfections included. My fellow Champions trust me to share our messaging with community partners, at my internship, and in my MSW capstone project. My formal MSW journey contains a plethora of assignments rooted in what healthy masculinity can be, and the impetus this has on our collective societies. I always carry these concepts, hoping to have a positive impact on one person everywhere I go.
As I continue developing at the speed of my own trust, I’ve seen my relationships improve, including the two most important relationships I have: with myself, and with my much better half for nearly 20 years, Luke, who has shown me true love starts with yourself, while continuing to be present through this journey called life.
Photo 1 below: Luke and I at the first-ever Hudsonville Area Pride, embracing our authentic selves.
Photo 2 below: Wearing my heart on my sleeve wherever I go, including Tulip Time.
To learn more about our Champions of Healthy Manhood program, visit www.ResilienceMI.org/Healthy-Manhood or e-mail BradH@ResilienceMI.org
