Healing Takes Time: Why “Just Get Over It” Misses the Mark
“Just get over it.”
People may say it with good intentions, but comments like this overlook the deep, lasting effects of trauma. Healing from abuse is not as simple as walking away—it’s an ongoing process of rebuilding, unlearning, and rediscovering a sense of self.
Leaving an abusive relationship creates space for healing, but it also brings new challenges. Many Survivors must unlearn trauma responses, reclaim their rights, and find healthy ways to meet their emotional and practical needs. For those whose abusive partners controlled every aspect of their lives, rebuilding a support system is critical—but not always easy. Friends and family may be a source of strength, but for some Survivors, those relationships have been damaged, severed, or were never safe to begin with.
At Resilience, we recognize that emotional healing is complex. Feelings of guilt, shame, and self-judgment can make it difficult for Survivors to move forward. That’s why we provide support groups and workshops focused on healing and empowerment. Over the past year, we’ve offered groups on domestic and sexual violence, financial empowerment, legal issues, self-care, and spiritual abuse—meeting Survivors where they are in their journey.
Because trauma affects all the senses, healing should, too. Sensory tools like calming teas, journals, soothing lotions, adult coloring books, and lavender sachets can help ease trauma responses. One simple yet powerful tool is a worry stone—a small, smooth stone that fits between the fingers and provides a calming, repetitive motion that helps reduce anxiety and promote grounding.
Through a partnership with the Holland Area Arts Council, our team recently created handcrafted worry stones imprinted with the word Resilience—a reminder of the very strength that has carried Survivors to where they are today. We are deeply grateful to the Holland Area Arts Council for donating supplies and helping us provide these meaningful tools to Survivors.
Healing is not about “getting over it.” It’s about moving forward at a pace that feels right, with the right support in place.
To learn more about our Support Groups and Workshops, visit www.ResilienceMI.org/Support-Groups.
